Just Buy the Damn Pants

If you’re a young girl in the United States (and probably many other places in the world) then you know that we have been taught our whole lives that we have to fit into a certain box – whether it’s having the nicest clothes, newest phone or smallest waist.

This is a very unfortunate thing, and it pains my heart when I hear women body-shaming themselves and each other. We’re all guilty of it to a certain degree, and sometimes it comes in waves. It’s like the phrase from Love, Simon

One minute I’m on top of the world, then the next I’m at rock bottom.

This is a feeling I (we?) am all too familiar with. One day I feel great and beautiful and strong, then the next I am hiding my fuzzy hair under a baseball cap and wearing a baggy t-shirt because I had a big breakfast. It’s so easy to get caught up in it all that we forget to love ourselves and our bodies.

For the last six months or so I have been ultimately trying to find peace with all of the things that have caused me frustration in the past. However, there has been one thing that I’ve never been able to overcome and it is loving my body. For example, I have worn leggings or sweatpants everyday for months because I put on some weight and my clothes no longer fit. It was so bad that if I did wear jeans, they were most definitely unbuttoned under my shirt. Seems like an easy fix, right?

Except I refused to buy bigger pants.

For some reason I had a mental block that would not allow myself to accept buying bigger jeans. So, for the last two weeks I have been working hard in the gym, sometimes twice a day and to the point of pure exhaustion. I changed my diet in hopes of quickening the process of attaining the unrealistic, “ideal” body in my mind meanwhile being completely disgusted with myself and what I saw in the mirror. I’m not petite, athletic or thick, so I just felt very “blah.”

If you’ve never felt this way, let me be the one to tell you it sucks.

The good news is, it doesn’t have to. We can all have goals of what we want to look like, but it’s perfectly fine to love ourselves until we get there. So, what did I do today?

I bought the damn pants. 

These are 2 sizes bigger than my old pants and I could finally breathe!

As crazy as it sounds, the moment I put them on my confidence went through the roof and I felt like me again. If I would’ve known accepting myself felt that good, I would have done it so long ago.

So, thank you to the extra twenty pounds that snuck up on me over the holidays for forcing me to love and accept myself the way I am today. (Although I hope you’re only visiting.)

Love, J.




I have nothing against those who choose to live a healthy and active life. I just want everyone to feel comfortable in their skin at all stages of growth.

Body shaming comes in all shapes and sizes. Always be kind. 

P.s. Angles are everything. 

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